The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
