it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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