so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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