Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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