how can u be prego again
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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