No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
