And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
