i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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