It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
