She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize