bring money and cleavage
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I would ride that face into the sunset
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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