True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
