youre lurking in front of me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
