Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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