She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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