My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
