we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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