hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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