Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize