you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
