i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
