Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
