I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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