your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i think im in europe. pls send help
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
