I met the friendliest cop last night
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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