I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
