I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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