I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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