apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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