Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
