On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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