and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
