You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
