I saw his package. It spoke to me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
