He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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