PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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