Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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