i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize