is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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