This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
