last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
