well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
