When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
wow bdsm is so cute
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