wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
