ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize