youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
