Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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