I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
