Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
