That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
