He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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