can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
