I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
