i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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