Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
